Yearning for the Curling
I have fallen in love with this sport. As of right now, my sports list goes like this...
1. Football
2. Soccer
3. Curling
4. everything else jumbled in a haze
5. Boring ass baseball
FYI, this list goes by sports I currently find the most entertaining to watch. I just got really into the English Premier League, and obviously Curling just bleeped onto my radar. This list is not how much I know about each sport, so don't try and start to talk to me about certain soccer players in Europe and what not.
Let's count the ways in which Curling is Brad Ass...
1. Boobies
Yes, let's go ahead and count this as number one.
I give you the Russians CLICK HERE
... And the topless Dane (NSFW) CLICK HERE
The female announcer yesterday joked with Wayne Gretzky that maybe, Naked Curling, would be a good idea. I am starting to think that all the women involved in this sport are horny as hell.
It's also fun to hear the ladies yell at each to broom, "HARD! HARDER!!!"
2. Terminology
"They have the hammer, shot rock, two of their stones are on the button, and they have a total of 5 rocks in the house!"
If that sentence didn't both, confuse the shit out of you, and also make you love this sport then you are dead inside.
Based on these terms, my father and I have been text messaging each other back and forth with slogan ideas for curling shirts. Here is what we got so far...
- Rock the House
- Be the Stone
- Get Stoned
- Sweep Bitch
- Real Men have Brooms
- Rock My Button (for the ladies)
It also has given me a term to label someone the best, "You're Shot Rock." Shot Rock is the stone closest to the center of the target. So, if someone were to surprise me with McDonald's breakfast, I would obviously say, "Thanks bro, you're shot rock." And they would look at me and say, "You're a douche, and you owe me $4.50."
For a list of all the fun terms, such as Wicky Wacky Woo CLICK HERE
3. Human Zamboni
They don't show the Ice Maker on TV, which is a mistake, because it is a good time. I was looking for a video online but couldn't find it. Basically it's a guy wearing a water back-pack who shuffles backwards on the ice as he holds out a hose in front of him. The hose is connected to the back-pack and he quickly flicks it back and forth to spread the water evenly across the ice. It's one of the goofiest things you have ever seen, and I guess when it happens in Canada, the crowd loses their shit.
I saw this on HBO Real Sports, earlier this month. If you happen to have a fancy TV set-up with one of those on demand thingys you should check it out.
4. Drinking Sport
This is definitely one of those sports that it appears you, not only have to drink while playing, but you get better the drunker you get. It being an Olympic Sport gives all of us hope that one day we could be playing, Beer Pong, Horse Shoes, Ladder Golf (we just call it BALLZ!) or even Flip Cup in the Olympics someday.
Old college drinking buddies / future Olympians?
Posted by Brad Ass at 2/21/2010 11:02 AM 
Categories: Sports
Tags: topless danish curler curling russian curling team drinking sport
Categories: Sports
Tags: topless danish curler curling russian curling team drinking sport
Although I enjoy your enthusiasm (obsession) with naked curlers, I think you're neglecting a lot of other talented Olympic athletes.
http://www.faniq.com/blog/Olympians-That-Have-Posed-For-Playboy-A-Comprehensive-Guide-Blog-10789
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Thank you for that.
While you go on your crazy trip through Europe, I am going to hire you ass The Euro Brad Ass correspondent.
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