Whack Ass Weekend 1-5-10
First Entry of the Decade
Who gives a shit?
Tweets of the Week
robhuebel The guy that invents scratch and sniff tattoos will be so rich, he can buy his own blow-job dolphin.
robhuebel Tension at the dentist's office. His hands were in my mouth and I go, "hope you've never masturbated, ever". Got slapped in face.
shitmydadsays "Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a fucking parade every time i take a piss."
michaelianblack My wife is watching Madonna videos with my daughter; I have naked pictures of all three.
bradassnews Rememer those potato chips that would give you "anal leakage?" why didn't they just rembrand them as laxatives? Medicine in chip form!
Drink of the Week
The best shot in the world is, The White Gummy Bear. It looks like a White Gummy Bear, smells like one, and you guessed it, it fucking tastes like one. Not a lot of bartenders know how to make this delicious shot, but if you can find a bar with a well educated mixoligist you have to try one.
White Gummy Bear Shot
1 oz Good Vodka
1/2 Raspberry Schnapps
1/2 Cranberry Juice
(Honestly I am not sure if that is the correct ingredients. It doesn't sound like that would make a white colored shot.)
One night I was already pretty tipsy and demanding a White Gummy Bear. I had to look up online what was in it, so I could communicate to the bartender how to make one. You would think I would know it by heart, since it is my favorite, but fuck you. Anyways, while I was looking it up I discovered that the White Gummy Bear is also a secret/off-the-board smoothie at Jamba Juice.
I haven't been to Jamba in a while, but for blog purposes I grabbed a White Gummy Bear the other day. Basically, it has every flavor of sherbert in their arsenal. It was alright. It would have been better with 5 or 6 shots of Gummy Bear shots. (I said shots a lot.)
(By the way, you should appreciate me doing this for the blog, because not only am I intolerant of religion and gift cards, I am also intolerant of lactose. Yes, I am lactarded, and that smoothie had me playing a lot of Words With Friends on my iPhone, on top of the toilet, at all hours of the night. I was pooping.)
iPhone Ap of the Week
Words With Friends Free
Basically it's just scrabble that you can play on your iPhone, against your friends or strangers around the world. Whenever you have some free time you can just check out the scrabble board and make a move or two. Games with my friends take anywhere from 1 day to two weeks; depending on if they're employed and/or have a life.
Save money and get the free one. The only difference is a couple of advertisements. If you happen to download it and want to play me, my username is... bradassnews.com. Really creative, huh?
It is the perfect game for shitting. I spend all my time on the toilet now trying to destroy my college roommates sister's boyfriend.
Mags Down the Shitter?
I wonder how badly Smart Phones, like the iPhone, have destroyed magazine sales. The toilet use to be the only place I would read a magazine, but now that I have an iPhone I never read them. I have a brand new Maxim on the toilet which I haven't even cracked because of my phone.
Picture of the Week
These guys have the look down perfectly. Even the totally cashed eyes.
DONE DONE DONE
Posted by Brad Ass at 1/5/2010 7:12 PM 
Categories: Whack Ass Weekend
Tags: pineapple express white gummy bear shot jamba tweets iphone entry of decade word with friends picture smoothie
Categories: Whack Ass Weekend
Tags: pineapple express white gummy bear shot jamba tweets iphone entry of decade word with friends picture smoothie
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