Eavesdrop of the Week

I am currently writing this in a local coffee chop.  I have my head phones in but they're not on, so that I can fully ease drop on people.  It works best if I bob my head once in a while like I am listening to music so that people around me don't think that I can hear them.  Thus they say some pretty funny/personal stuff.

A group of middle-aged women to the left of me just got into a fight over giving gift cards for Christmas.  One enthusiastically stated.  "I will not allow gift cards in my house.  I am laying the smack down."  Her friends laughed so hard that I think I hard one rip a little fart.  I can't wait til I get to the age where I am allowed to fart in certain situations in which laughter overpowers my sphincter.

Business Idea of the Week

I am not sure if you noticed but in that last section I missed spelled coffee shop and put coffee chop.  You fucking should have noticed though, because after I accidentally misspelled it I went back and bold and italicized it.

Anywhat, after I made the error I decided that this would be a great name for a business.  Sometimes the best business ideas just come from great names.  "Figure out a great name first, and then figure out what you want to do with it," is what I would imagine what some successful asshole would say after he made a billion off of Coffee Chop.

Alright so we got a great name, now what would it be good for...

- a steak house that marinates beef in coffee

- a movie about a ninja barrista

- a nickname for a black lumberjack

...do you have any ideas?


Tweets of the Week

shitmydadsays "It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."

michaelianblack Good response to somebody saying "Blah blah blah:" "Bloopity bloopity bloop."

jimgaffigan Doesn't it seem like the guy who came with the phrase 'douche bag' was a total douche bag himself?

robhuebel Just b/c my football team lost today doesn't make me a bad person. It's the arson, meth and child-mugging that make me a bad person

sportsguy33 After Mrs. Tiger broke Tiger's SUV window to "save him," did she perform CPR by strangling him with his '97 Masters jacket?

angelafarts4u show me your man tits. You can Direct Message if you're shy.

bradassnews @angelafarts4u you ask for man tits, you get man tits. http://ow.ly/i/9QX I threw in a Pizza Hat for free

angelafarts4u @bradassnews 1) that does not count


IM FUCKING FINISHED.

(I found out that my blog software has an tool that lets me know which words I use the most and I am very fucking pissed how low the word, FUCK, falls on the list.  Thus I will probably be cursing even more in future blog posts. That being said, go FUCK yourself.)