World Seriously Boring
Stupid boring baseball, so god damn boring and boring. I am going to try and watch the first game of the World Series and blog about it.
Here we go. UGH!
5:00; And here comes the first pitch!!! Fuck it, already bored. Going to go get food.
6:15; Just got back from picking up a bottle of 2 Buck Chuck, and woofing down a California Burrito (which contains carne asada, french fries, guacamole, cheese, and lots of hot sauce. If you're ever in San Diego, I suggest getting one, and eating it, because if you just got one and then didn't eat it, you would be retarded.)
6:16; It's the bottom of the 4th Inning and the Phillies are winning 1 to nothing. They probably scored in some boring ass way.
6:16; Only been watching for a minute, and I'm already bored again.
6:22; Too boring, time to wander-over to Pornhub.com. I don't understand this "Videos Being Watched" section, that they now have. Why do I want to watch a porn that someone somewhere else is also currently watching? Am I supposed to get excited that there is a lot of people simultaneously masturbating to the same 10 minute clip that I am? I know that the internet is intended to bring the World together, but I don't think "Circle Jerks," is what they had in mind.
6:26; Raining a bit. Makes me think of the scene in Bull Durham where Kevin Costner turns on the sprinklers, so they would have a Rain Out the next day. Baseball may be the only sport where I really enjoy movies about the sport, more than the sport itself.
6:37; They're seems to be some sort of umpire error which the fans are not happy with. I have been looking at the screen but can't recall what happened. I guess I'm not really watching. I'm not looking at the TV, I am looking through it. "A Thousand Yard Stare," if you will. Yards... I wish I was watching football, and not this boring ass baseball.
I hate how there is no Sunday Night Football this weekend, because they don't want to compete with the World Series. That's as fucking dumb as Taco Bell's Black Taco idea. Are you telling me that if they moved the Vikings at Green Bay game to a night game, to compete with the World Series that it wouldn't get better ratings? Favre's infamous return! (Oh, both games are on fox. I am an idiot, but you get my point. I bet a solid regular NFL game would beat the World Series in ratings)
6:39; haha. a Taco Bell, Black Taco commercial just aired. Brought to you by, Black Diarrhea. (Every time I spell diarrhea I have to use spell-check. As Jim Gaffigan says "Diarrhea is the easiest thing to get, but the hardest thing to spell.")
6:45; Hey-OH!!! Chase Utley just hit a home run for the Phillies, bringing the score to 2-0. That was kinda exciting, but then the announcer informed me that he also hit a home run to score the first one. Now it just seems like repetitive boring bullshit.
6:46; They just showed a replay of which pitch the catcher was calling for, right before the home run was hit. The camera was zoomed extremely close on the catcher's groin area. I wonder if there has ever been more people staring at one man's groin at one single time, and then I remember the PornHub.com "Videos Being Watched" section.
6:46 and a half; I wonder if pin-striped pubes would be a good look for me?
6:58; They just showed a game summary and only showed the clips of the two homers. So, in two hours there has only been two plays worth showing. A total of 8 seconds.
7:08; Just upgraded my viewing experience by a bushel load. I muted the TV and turned on ESPN Radio, so I could listen to Jon Miller and not have to listen to Joe Buck-hole. I suggest doing the same. Jon Miller's voice is like butter and he is better than baseball. Come do football Jon.
7:10; Switched the sound back, due to fear that I would miss Joe buck doing something stupid.
7:24; They just showed the preview for the Michael Jackson movie coming out. It's called, This Is It. Such an entertaining title for a movie about the concert rehearsals of a dead guy. Almost as if there saying, "He is fucking dead, so there is not going to be a concert.... This Is it!... This is all we got. Did you not hear us? He's fucking dead. There isn't going to be anymore... This Is It!... all done." I guess it could've been worse and they could have went with, The Nail in the Coffin!
7:46; Not going to lie, I havn't been paying attention to the game at all. I have been iChatting with a friend who is living in Argentina, but it appears I haven't missed anything. It is still 2-0.
7:48; Alright, I am going to try and pay attention. GROUND BALL sneaks through the infield and two score for the Phillies... well that just seemed more like luck than anything.
7:50; Yeah commercials are back on. I find baseball so boring that it's like torture, and commercials are my break from the torturer. As if Major League Baseball was pulling off my finger nails but had to go and take a smoke break.
7:53; Shit, my torturer just returned, and after almost 3 hours I feel that I am all out of finger nails. I fear what he will pull off next.
7:54; Phillies pitcher was so bored he decided to catch a ball behind his back. Ho-hum.
8:03; a Phillies guy just ripped a double off of the Dunkin Donuts banner in the out-field. All of my Boston friends just Boston Creamed their pants, with the thoughts of a Yankees' loss and of an extra sugary latte.
8:11; 5-0? When did this happen?
8:17; I know there is only half of an inning left, but I can't take it anymore. I am going to go watch paint dry. It will be a lot more exciting. Not sure why they say that watching paint dry is a boring activity. I think it is all depends on what you watch the paint dry to. Of course watching paint dry on a wall is boring, but drying on your neighbor's cat on the other hand...
IM ALL DONE
Posted by Brad Ass at 10/28/2009 6:16 PM 
Categories: Sports
Tags: world series joe buck yankees this is it michael jackson pornhub california burrito jon miller baseball
Categories: Sports
Tags: world series joe buck yankees this is it michael jackson pornhub california burrito jon miller baseball
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