BRADASSNEWS.COM: Fucking the Current Sports Issues

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BRADASSNEWS.COM: Fucking the Current Sports Issues

Fucking the Current Sports Issues

Here are some of my feelings on the current issues being discussed in the world of sports.

Swimsuits:
Everyone is bitching about how these new high-tech swimsuits are not fair and making a mockery of all the records. Isn't this life? New technology comes out in every aspect of life making the past obsolete. Why should it be different in this case?

Furthermore, it's not like these swimming records are so precious anyways. Who knows who held the 100 meter freestyle record before Phelps? Fucking nobody! I'm just saying it isn't like we have a Babe Ruth of swimming that is getting all of his records shattered because of this. As long as everyone can use them in the same race, it is fine by me. If Ghana is down there in lane 8 wearing some boardshorts and floaties we got problems.

Ron Mexico:
People are saying that Roger Goodell is going above the law by giving Vick a 5 game suspension to start the season. They're saying that Vick served his time in jail and that that should be the extent of his punishment.

I understand what they are trying to say but look at it this way...

In the real world, not the do whatever you want sports world and get away with it (Donte Stallworth), Michael Vick would be done. The NFL is a business and Roger Goodell is the fucking boss. Imagine an employee of a company getting charged for multiple felonies of animal cruelty. You think in the real world that guy would get his job back after he served over a year in jail? Fuck no he wouldn't! Do you think people would be mad at the boss and argue that he went above and beyond the law? Fuck no they wouldn't! No one would ever want that employee back unless, that certain employee is the top salesman of the company and you may not survive without the business he brings in.

So, is Michael Vick so vital to the NFL that he has to be let back in for the survival of the company. Absolutely fucking not! Football doesn't need him. The last two Super Bowls were the highest rated of all time. I am surprised that the suspension was only 5 games.

Don't get me wrong, I want to see Michael Vick play again. I think he should be reinstated but not this soon. I am just pissed about people acting as if Goodell is some fucking dictator. He is the god-damn boss. the next time the President of your company fires someone for getting a DUI or let's say, tying a pit-bull up to a rape stick, why don't you tell that President that he is acting "above the law."

(If you don't know why I titled the last section Ron Mexico, CLICK HERE.)

Usain Bolt:
Yet again, he blew away the field and no one in the world noticed. The fact that the only quality video I could find of this race is in a language which I assume is of middle eastern origins (just because of the logo on the top left), proves how much we don't give a shit.

July 24, 2009. London Grand Prix

He had a shitty start and still blew them away by enough to pull up, and flash the pistols.

He is way more impressive then Phelps. I know Phelps has eight gold medals but Usain's golds are better. Usain went for quality while Phelps got quantity. It's as if Usain fucked a couple of Victoria Secret Models, and Phelps got a thousand hand jobs from Tijuana Hookers.

Bill Simmons made the best point, and I don't think the rest of you follow Simmons as much as I do so let me sum up and expand on what he said.

In one way or another, he stated that the goal of a race is to get from point A to point B as fast as possible. If this is true, then why do it in stupid different ways, such as different swimming strokes, like the butterfly and backstroke? Furthermore, if you do this in swimming why not do it in track and field? To be fair don't you have to throw in, let's say the 100 meter crabwalk, or skip, or backwards run. If these were all races who is to know how many golds Bolt would have gotten.

Now you might be saying, "That's ridiculous, nobody actually runs backwards or crabwalks." Yah! Well who the fuck swims like a god damn fucking butterfly!? And, why do we want to see people using the breast stroke for a race? Isn't that the stroke you do when your too tired to swim normally or if your over the age of 60? Why not throw in a paddle board and just let them kick? It's fucking stupid, just have a race and let them do it in any stroke they fucking want (which would be the fastest, the freestyle.) Whoever gets to the finish first wins. That's the definition of a fucking race!

One last thing, if Bolt was American and Phelps was Jamacain you would all agree with the last four paragraphs.