Things That Make Me Go, What the Fuck?
(could also be called, Examples of How I am Close Minded.)
No matter how many times I see, hear, taste or smell some certain things, I will never get use to them. For some reason they will always leave me bewildered, befuddled or befuckled.
Here are some of those surreal things...
A snow covered desert landscape.
A tall midget. You know the ones, they really just look like those six graders that had the ability to grow facial hair.
Sean Penn's jew-fro in, Carlito's Way.
The Arizona Cardinals are the reigning NFC Champs.
A Black guy with a British accent. For some reason I am not perplexed by a black chick with the same accent.
Not being able to smell my own farts.
Milk. (not the movie, the white liquid that comes from cow tit)
The gap inbetween my front two teeth that magically appeared one morning. Awesome!
Bottled water.
Tiger Woods with his hat off. Gods shouldn't have bald spots.
Albert Pujols.
The Washington Redskins. I am not a big "politically correct guy" but having a team named, Redskins, is pretty fucking racist.
The Kyoto Protocol.
Seeing dogs get hit by cars. I have seen this approximately five times. Makes me not want to get a dog. I fear I am bad luck, or maybe I just need to stop trying to run over dogs.
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