What's New of the Week

My website is new you dumbass.  I changed up templates.  I feel this one is easier to read and I like the perdy colors.  I do not like the grass.  I was unable to figure out how to get rid of it so I simply changed my slogan from "Hello... you must be bored," to "Slightly more entertaining then watching the grass grow."  I still don't like it but when life gives you shit make a shit sandwich.

Commercial of the Week

Who wants a Dickens Cider?

Whack Ass Question of the Week

Now that Phil Mickelson's wife has breast cancer can we no longer make fun of Phil's bitch tits?

Tweets of the Week

jchats Iran: An example of religion and state mixing freely without any problems.

robcorddry Rule number 3: While making love, always put your partner's needs ahead of yours. And also, never yell "My dick is a weapon!"

RobRiggle "I'm so horny for victory!" - A. Lincoln, original opening line in the Gettysburg Address. Eventually left out of later drafts....

michaelianblack Got a salad at McDonald's, which is like getting a handshake at a whorehouse.

Fact of the Week

While watching the College World Series I learned that they have now changed the name of a Suicide Squeez to a Safety Squeeze.  They should have changed it from Suicide Squeeze to "A David Carradine."  "Oh he is about to try a David Carradine!"  You know I couldn't get through this without one Carradine joke.