Shitty Short Summaries of Movies Involving a Dad in Some Way or Whatever


You know...  for Fathers Day.


Star Wars


A disfigured father gets pissed off at his son for having incesstual thoughts about his sister and not wanting to follow in his footsteps.

Finding Nemo

A fish loses his disfigured son. (One of his fins is little.)

The Man Without a Face

A troubled teen finds a father figure in a disfigured outcast.

The Lion King

A young lion princes' father is killed by his disfigured uncle.

Kids! Stop starring at his scar.  It's not nice.


Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

The son of an archaeologist finds himself in a train car with a roaring lion and tries to scare it off by using a whip.  He cracks himself in the chin with the whip and it leaves him horribly disfigured. (Horribly disfigured, tiny scar on chin that women find sexy, whatever.)

Walk the Line

A father's eldest son gets in a horrible table saw accident which does not leave him disfigured, it leaves him dead.  Father's youngest son becomes legendary country music star, but who gives a shit.

The Fugitive


A disfigured man kills a doctor's wife.  Someone in the movie is most likely a father.

Back to The Future

A son with an Oedipus complex figures out it is better to go back in time and get with his mom while she is still hot.  He time travels in a disfigured DeLorean. (Alright, that one was too much of a stretch.  I will stop with the disfigurement theme.)

Field of Dreams

An Iowan farmer destroys a perfectly good crop of corn just to play catch with his dead father. (I want someone to make a movie that combines Children of the Corn with Field of Dreams. Dead baseball players battle psychotic, demon possessed children. Not sure who would win.  The baseball players are more athletic and older but the children have a pretty good home field advantage.)

Over the Top

An arm wrestling trucker turns his hat backwards and then kidnaps his son from a life of luxury.

Big Fish

A big fat liar finally dies.  Hey Dad! No one likes a fibber.

Taken

Father gets pissed off that his daughter lies to him yet he never shows any pleasure in the fact that she is still a virgin.






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