G-Chat With Mikey G -Too Soon?
I know that reading other people's online chats are usually not high on anyone's list of entertainment. Unless, the chat is gossip about that person or someone they know.
This chat isn't gossip but I found it amusing enough to share with all my Brad Ass Readers. (which isn't saying much) It's me and a buddy of mine that I have known since second grade. We have a pretty similar fucked up sense of humor.
Hope you enjoy it, you asshole,
Brad Ass: David Carradine death jokes are acceptable right? Autoerotic Asphyxiation has to cancel out the, "Too soon" factor?
Mikey G: Ya. Absolutely!
BA: I had my Facebook status as "What was worse, the ending to Kill Bill 2 or the ending to David Carradines life?" and I got a lot of shit from people saying it was "too soon" and I took it down.
MG: That guy's whole life is kinda a joke now.
BA: Especially after his wife has now came out and said his obsession with autoerotic asphyxiation is "Christ Like." Haha, no idea what that exactly means but every time i get obsessed with something I am going to use the phrase "Christ Like." Did you read this yet? link to TMZ article
MG: haha. I would really like a sandwich, wtf!
MG: hahahahah
MG: weird fuck
BA: If anyone ever walks in on me jerking it I am just going to look up at them and calmly ask for a sandwich.
BA: And it was during a Dinner Party that they were hosting. Howd that conversation go? "Honey, they Johnsons are coming over for dinner." Carradine, "Sounds good, I will be in the basement masturbating like Jesus."
MG: What other instances eliminate the "Too Soon." There has to be some.
BA: A serial killer being executed in prison?
MG: Absolutely, or just getting killed in prison, like Jeffery Dahmer did.
BA: And you are absolutely allowed to make jokes as soon as you want about a cult that drinks the kool-aid so they can get to the mothership.
MG: I think were due for another cult mass-killing. its been a while.
BA: I think I would be really acceptable to joining a cult right now.
MG: Susceptible
BA: haha, yes, that too.
MG: Also, anyone that dies from sticking something up their butthole cancels out the "Too Soon Factor." Especially if that something is an animal.
MG: Basically the "Too Soon Factor" is eliminated if your death was very embaressing or you were a mass murdering fuck-head.
BA: So, if you are killer, in a cult that is inside of a prison, and you're getting beating to death during autoerotic asphyxiation while having a gerbil up your butthole then you make the Never To Soon Hall of Fame.
MG: Indeed.
BA: All kidding aside, the death of David Carradine was an awful tragedy and we can both just hope that before his heart beat its last beat he was able to cum.
MG: We pray for his ejaculate.
MG: Gotta take a shit. brb
BA: I am not sure if I am ok with you praying for a man's ejaculate then running off to the bathroom right away.
MG: Hahahaha!
BA: Have a blast. Hopefully something funny happens, like the toilet overflows or you drop cell phone in toilet because my obsession with bathroom humor is "Christ Like."
15 minutes later
MG: I have produced nothing at work today, except this gchat
BA: And a poop!
BA: How's your office pooping situation? Nice and private? Male and Female Bathrooms? Or does everyone share?
MG: It's awful. I have to take a shit right next to the hot law intern, I mean law clerk. I don't know why interns in law offices get to be called clerks. It's bullshit. Anyways, every time I pass her to go to the bathroom and take longer then a couple minutes she knows I'm dropping a huge shit. I have also been feeling fucked up and have shit like 5 times already.
MG: When it comes to shitting today, I am like Kobe. I just really really want it.
MG: Oh and by the way. I think I'm the only one to realize where the Kobe scowl comes from...
BA: haha, Rape Face?
BA: The severe underbite is what probably caused the vaginal tearing.
MG: hahahaha, Possibly, but he's copying LeBron. You know that slow-mo commercial where LeBron dunks and turns and runs up the court with his crazy face on. (see below) Well when Kobe tries to make that face he ends up looking like the underbite king.
BA: I gotta go. I think the new girl next to me is getting annoyed by my feirce typing and girlish giggles. I will hit you up the next time a celeb auto-erraticates themself. (I am copywriting that term. I can do that because I am a copywriter. What? That's not what a copywriter does? Man, I have been a copywriter for 4 months and still don't know what I do.)
MG: Later, fuck... do I have to poop again?!
BA: I can't answer that.
BA: Conpoopus say (brother of Confucius), "One must look inside oneself to find answer to such deep and bowel moving question."
This chat isn't gossip but I found it amusing enough to share with all my Brad Ass Readers. (which isn't saying much) It's me and a buddy of mine that I have known since second grade. We have a pretty similar fucked up sense of humor.
Hope you enjoy it, you asshole,
Brad Ass: David Carradine death jokes are acceptable right? Autoerotic Asphyxiation has to cancel out the, "Too soon" factor?
Mikey G: Ya. Absolutely!
BA: I had my Facebook status as "What was worse, the ending to Kill Bill 2 or the ending to David Carradines life?" and I got a lot of shit from people saying it was "too soon" and I took it down.
MG: That guy's whole life is kinda a joke now.
BA: Especially after his wife has now came out and said his obsession with autoerotic asphyxiation is "Christ Like." Haha, no idea what that exactly means but every time i get obsessed with something I am going to use the phrase "Christ Like." Did you read this yet? link to TMZ article
MG: haha. I would really like a sandwich, wtf!
MG: hahahahah
MG: weird fuck
BA: If anyone ever walks in on me jerking it I am just going to look up at them and calmly ask for a sandwich.
BA: And it was during a Dinner Party that they were hosting. Howd that conversation go? "Honey, they Johnsons are coming over for dinner." Carradine, "Sounds good, I will be in the basement masturbating like Jesus."
MG: What other instances eliminate the "Too Soon." There has to be some.
BA: A serial killer being executed in prison?
MG: Absolutely, or just getting killed in prison, like Jeffery Dahmer did.
BA: And you are absolutely allowed to make jokes as soon as you want about a cult that drinks the kool-aid so they can get to the mothership.
MG: I think were due for another cult mass-killing. its been a while.
BA: I think I would be really acceptable to joining a cult right now.
MG: Susceptible
BA: haha, yes, that too.
MG: Also, anyone that dies from sticking something up their butthole cancels out the "Too Soon Factor." Especially if that something is an animal.
MG: Basically the "Too Soon Factor" is eliminated if your death was very embaressing or you were a mass murdering fuck-head.
BA: So, if you are killer, in a cult that is inside of a prison, and you're getting beating to death during autoerotic asphyxiation while having a gerbil up your butthole then you make the Never To Soon Hall of Fame.
MG: Indeed.
BA: All kidding aside, the death of David Carradine was an awful tragedy and we can both just hope that before his heart beat its last beat he was able to cum.
MG: We pray for his ejaculate.
MG: Gotta take a shit. brb
BA: I am not sure if I am ok with you praying for a man's ejaculate then running off to the bathroom right away.
MG: Hahahaha!
BA: Have a blast. Hopefully something funny happens, like the toilet overflows or you drop cell phone in toilet because my obsession with bathroom humor is "Christ Like."
15 minutes later
MG: I have produced nothing at work today, except this gchat
BA: And a poop!
BA: How's your office pooping situation? Nice and private? Male and Female Bathrooms? Or does everyone share?
MG: It's awful. I have to take a shit right next to the hot law intern, I mean law clerk. I don't know why interns in law offices get to be called clerks. It's bullshit. Anyways, every time I pass her to go to the bathroom and take longer then a couple minutes she knows I'm dropping a huge shit. I have also been feeling fucked up and have shit like 5 times already.
MG: When it comes to shitting today, I am like Kobe. I just really really want it.
MG: Oh and by the way. I think I'm the only one to realize where the Kobe scowl comes from...
BA: haha, Rape Face?
BA: The severe underbite is what probably caused the vaginal tearing.
MG: hahahaha, Possibly, but he's copying LeBron. You know that slow-mo commercial where LeBron dunks and turns and runs up the court with his crazy face on. (see below) Well when Kobe tries to make that face he ends up looking like the underbite king.
MG: Later, fuck... do I have to poop again?!
BA: I can't answer that.
BA: Conpoopus say (brother of Confucius), "One must look inside oneself to find answer to such deep and bowel moving question."
Posted by Brad Ass at 6/9/2009 9:43 AM 
Categories: Whatever
Tags: david carradine too soon poop mikey g
Categories: Whatever
Tags: david carradine too soon poop mikey g
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