Oscar Weekend Wackiness
It's that time of the year when we honor the "best of the best" in movies. I know sometimes it feels like instead of the "best of the best" we honor the "best of the foreign and the boring," but unless you are a voter what are you going to do about it?
A few random things relating in someway to this year in film. ENJOY!
An Idiot's Short but True Description of Movies
The Reader - An illiterate pedophiliac Nazi learns to read then learns reading sucks, so she kills herself.
Slumdog Millionaire- A kid jumps into poop, obsesses over a girl named after a potato pancake, Latika, then wins a million dollars and everyone does the Macarena
Valkyrie- Tom Cruise plays a Nazi Pirate that tries to kill Hitler. Tom discovers that releasing a movie about Nazis on Christmas Day is not a good idea.
Defiance- A bunch of Jews follow James Bond into the woods.
007 Quantum of Solace- Not one gadget, not one gambling scene, and did not sleep with the main chick.... NOT A BOND MOVIE!
Indiana Jones and the whatever- Indiana + Aliens - Sean Connery + Surviving a Nuclear Blast + Man Eating Ants = The most times a movie has ever performed the task of "Jumping the Shark!" Bad Bad Bad Bad. ARGH!
Confessions of a Shopoholic- Yes, it is an awful movie but if it is a girls favorite movie it lets us guys know that they are shallow and we should move on. Same thing goes with TI's song, "Anything You Like." It is a basically a song about a guy buying a girl whatever she wants. If this is your girlfriends favorite song than you are in trouble.
Religulous- Bill Maher explains the ridiculousness of religion. Everyone who knows this goes and sees the movie, but everyone who needs to learn this boycotts and protests.
Zack and Mira Make a Porno- Uhhhhh... see title of movie for description.
Milk- A lactose intolerant, or as I like to call it "Lactarded," Gay man learns to love the taste and nutritional value of milk. (Ok, so I never saw it)
Future Movie Porn Names
Porn movies often name themselves after real movies and just switch up a few words to make it sound dirty. Here are a few that I have cum up with.
Some Dog in Your Rear
Underworld: Rise of My Lycan
The Pink Depants Her
The Curious Taste of Benjamin's Butt
Revolutionary Bone
The Breeder
He is Just not that Inside of You
Nick and Norah's Infinite Bang List
Pineapple ASSpress
Man Iron
How to Use Friends and Penetrate People
The Internal-national
Hung F.U. Manda
Asstralia
Watchwomen
The Day the Girth Boned Jill
Sex and the Titty
Indiana Bones a Skull
Quantum of Sore-ass
Bang-cock Stranger's Ass
Definitely, Maybe... I am not in the Mood, I Have a Headache
Horton Hears a Whore
Tropic Thunder Fuck
Vicky Christina Bone a Lone-ah
Milk
Can you think of any?
A few random things relating in someway to this year in film. ENJOY!
An Idiot's Short but True Description of Movies
The Reader - An illiterate pedophiliac Nazi learns to read then learns reading sucks, so she kills herself.
Slumdog Millionaire- A kid jumps into poop, obsesses over a girl named after a potato pancake, Latika, then wins a million dollars and everyone does the Macarena
Valkyrie- Tom Cruise plays a Nazi Pirate that tries to kill Hitler. Tom discovers that releasing a movie about Nazis on Christmas Day is not a good idea.
Defiance- A bunch of Jews follow James Bond into the woods.
007 Quantum of Solace- Not one gadget, not one gambling scene, and did not sleep with the main chick.... NOT A BOND MOVIE!
Indiana Jones and the whatever- Indiana + Aliens - Sean Connery + Surviving a Nuclear Blast + Man Eating Ants = The most times a movie has ever performed the task of "Jumping the Shark!" Bad Bad Bad Bad. ARGH!
Confessions of a Shopoholic- Yes, it is an awful movie but if it is a girls favorite movie it lets us guys know that they are shallow and we should move on. Same thing goes with TI's song, "Anything You Like." It is a basically a song about a guy buying a girl whatever she wants. If this is your girlfriends favorite song than you are in trouble.
Religulous- Bill Maher explains the ridiculousness of religion. Everyone who knows this goes and sees the movie, but everyone who needs to learn this boycotts and protests.
Zack and Mira Make a Porno- Uhhhhh... see title of movie for description.
Milk- A lactose intolerant, or as I like to call it "Lactarded," Gay man learns to love the taste and nutritional value of milk. (Ok, so I never saw it)
Future Movie Porn Names
Porn movies often name themselves after real movies and just switch up a few words to make it sound dirty. Here are a few that I have cum up with.
Some Dog in Your Rear
Underworld: Rise of My Lycan
The Pink Depants Her
The Curious Taste of Benjamin's Butt
Revolutionary Bone
The Breeder
He is Just not that Inside of You
Nick and Norah's Infinite Bang List
Pineapple ASSpress
Man Iron
How to Use Friends and Penetrate People
The Internal-national
Hung F.U. Manda
Asstralia
Watchwomen
The Day the Girth Boned Jill
Sex and the Titty
Indiana Bones a Skull
Quantum of Sore-ass
Bang-cock Stranger's Ass
Definitely, Maybe... I am not in the Mood, I Have a Headache
Horton Hears a Whore
Tropic Thunder Fuck
Vicky Christina Bone a Lone-ah
Milk
Can you think of any?
Posted by Brad Ass at 2/21/2009 12:32 PM 
Categories: Movies
Tags: the reader academy awards slumdog millionaire short movie descriptions oscars 007 valkyrie defiance james bond porn titles
Categories: Movies
Tags: the reader academy awards slumdog millionaire short movie descriptions oscars 007 valkyrie defiance james bond porn titles
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