We Aren't Who They Thought We Were
My Dad had been an Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder since the day they moved from St. Louis until the day I went to college. I remember sitting in Sun Devil Stadium in triple degree weather watching my Cardinals get pounded year after year. Watching the Cowboys come in and annihilate us as the stadium was 75% Cowboys fans.
Before this year we only had one winning season. I remember when we beat the Cowboys at home that year. None of the fans knew what to do. We actually rushed the field and tore down the goal posts. This is an occurrence that should only take place if you are a drunken coed and your school has just defeated its rival.
What I am getting at is that the Cardinals are just awful, pitiful, and historically the laughing stocks of the NFL, if not all of sports but I fucking love them. So, when we finally had a chance to host the NFC Championship Game you better believe my dad and I were going. It didn’t matter that he just got laid off and I have not found a fulltime job in this rough economy. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity and it lived up to everything that I hoped for.
So here is my NFC Championship Weekend experience.
The Flight
I walked down the airplane, looked up at my seat, and there was a little 7 year old kid in my in my spot. I looked over and his Dad was sitting next to him. Before I could say anything the flight attendant asked if I could switch seats so they could sit next to each other. I was fine with it because I still didn’t have to sit in the middle.
(Side Note… New Rule- You may not ask someone to switch seats on an airplane if the switch results in that person getting stuck in the middle. I once had an elderly couple separated on a plane and the wife asked if I would switch with her husband so that they could sit next to each other. I said no because it would have resulted in me getting stuck in a middle seat on a red-eye from Denver to Boston. And NO! I did not feel bad about it because she broke the “No Me Middle Rule” which I just made up…. NO DICE GRANDMA!” )
Back to the story.
I thought it was weird that the father would not have at least thanked me for switching seats but he said nothing. I looked at him and immediately noticed that he was the “screamer” from Linkin Park. I didn’t say anything because I am not a fan. It is not that I don’t like them. I am just indifferent. So if you can’t tell the person that you are a fan what are you suppose to say?
“Linkin Park huh… that’s cool”
“You are in Linkin Park. I am indifferent towards your band”
What I should have said was.
“Hey Linkin Park!!! Why did you take my seat and not say thank you when I moved?… I AM ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I AM ABOUT TO BREAK!” (For those of you who don’t know those are lyrics from one of the many angry Linkin Park songs.)
Oddly he was on my flight back to Long Beach after my trip was over. He kept on giving me the, “Was that dude on my other plane,” face. I responded with a, "Yes... I am stalking you," face.
The Stadium
Chris Berman calls it "The Toaster."
My friend calls it The "Silver Vagina" because the Mexican restaurant chain Pink Taco wanted to get naming rights. So, instead of the stadium being called, University of Phoenix Stadium it would be called, Pink Taco Stadium.
The designers said the shape of a barrel cactus and a coiled snake inspired them. I think the coiled snake kinda inspired them to design it in the shape of a curled up turd.
The designers also created the Beijing Olympic Stadium. The one that we all no as The Bird’s Nest. I am a little confused as to why they would not give us, “The Arizona Cardinals” the stadium that looks like a bird’s nest. They should have given China the one that looks like a big silver crap.
All that being said the stadium that looks like poop gets as loud as shit and creates an amazing home field advantage. I love that big shining piece of fecal matter that holds 71,000 crazy fans.
Eagle Fans Can Spell, E.A.G.L.E.S!!!
I am not sure why the Eagle’s fight song is just spelling out their name loudly. I am not a fan of this chant. The Jets also like to do this sort of School House Rock Chant. I wonder if the Eagle fans do this just to show that they can spell longer words than Jet fans.
A Jets vs Eagles game would be like a Kindergarten class with the teacher holding up pictures and asking them to spell what they saw. “OK class, what’s this?... Yes, it is a Jet. Now can we all spell the word "Jet" together?”
I think it really irritated me because the Eagles fan behind me started chanting it louder and louder as the game slowly slipped away from my Cardinals. I would have tried to spell, Cardinals really loudly but I was too nervous and was afraid I would have misspelled it. I am not a good trash talker. And when I tried it in my head there is always an odd pause in between the A and the L. Although, that could have been because I had too many B.E.E.R.S!
Man Cry
As the clock ran out and I turned to my dad we were both already tearing up. We hugged and jumped up and down. We acted like a couple of 12 year old girls in 1999 at a Backstreet Boys Concert.
I couldn't help it. Instantly all the memories of my dad and I going to every football game came rushing back to me. I remembered not being tall enough so I had to stand on the seats. I could clearly recall the game against the Packers when my dad taught me that 10 yards equals a first down. (A new guy named Favre was starting at QB for Green Bay.) I looked to the left and saw a father and son hugging and then I turned to my dad and lost it. Maybe I care about football too much, but anything that brings a father and son this close is special thing.
What sports is all about
I Don’t Care What Happens Next
Before this Eagles game we were already playing with house money. To have hosted the Championship Game went completely past all my dreams. If we get blown out in the Super Bowl I will be completely fine with it. I just don’t hope the players feel the same way.
This Might Be Our Only Chance
In 2010 there is a chance that there will be no salary cap and the rich teams will have a clear advantage over the poorer teams, similar to what we have in baseball. That means this may be the chance for my economically handicapped Cardinals. Unlike other teams whose owners have outside sources of income like the Cowboys’ Jerry Jones with his oil, and the Patriots’ Robert Kraft with his Kraft Singles, the Cardinals’ Bidwell family make all their money from the team.
mmmm!!! Taste like Super Bowls
I take back all that crap I said about me not caring what happens next. I was being a butt-hole. We need to win now. This may be our only shot.
Adding Salt to the Wound
As we entered the parking lot I saw a car full of Eagle fans that got pulled over immediately by a cop. Can you spell, E.A.G.L.E.S.D.U.I.
If I Have 2 Boys
I am naming one, Fitz and the other, Gerald,
If I Have a Girl
I am naming her Anquan, because Boldin acted like a little jealous whiny bitch on the most important drive in Arizona football history.
P.S.
If anyone wants to send me to the Super Bowl I will allow it. Even if I have to sit in the middle on the airplane.
Before this year we only had one winning season. I remember when we beat the Cowboys at home that year. None of the fans knew what to do. We actually rushed the field and tore down the goal posts. This is an occurrence that should only take place if you are a drunken coed and your school has just defeated its rival.
What I am getting at is that the Cardinals are just awful, pitiful, and historically the laughing stocks of the NFL, if not all of sports but I fucking love them. So, when we finally had a chance to host the NFC Championship Game you better believe my dad and I were going. It didn’t matter that he just got laid off and I have not found a fulltime job in this rough economy. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity and it lived up to everything that I hoped for.
So here is my NFC Championship Weekend experience.
The Flight
I walked down the airplane, looked up at my seat, and there was a little 7 year old kid in my in my spot. I looked over and his Dad was sitting next to him. Before I could say anything the flight attendant asked if I could switch seats so they could sit next to each other. I was fine with it because I still didn’t have to sit in the middle.
(Side Note… New Rule- You may not ask someone to switch seats on an airplane if the switch results in that person getting stuck in the middle. I once had an elderly couple separated on a plane and the wife asked if I would switch with her husband so that they could sit next to each other. I said no because it would have resulted in me getting stuck in a middle seat on a red-eye from Denver to Boston. And NO! I did not feel bad about it because she broke the “No Me Middle Rule” which I just made up…. NO DICE GRANDMA!” )
Back to the story.
I thought it was weird that the father would not have at least thanked me for switching seats but he said nothing. I looked at him and immediately noticed that he was the “screamer” from Linkin Park. I didn’t say anything because I am not a fan. It is not that I don’t like them. I am just indifferent. So if you can’t tell the person that you are a fan what are you suppose to say?
“Linkin Park huh… that’s cool”
“You are in Linkin Park. I am indifferent towards your band”
What I should have said was.
“Hey Linkin Park!!! Why did you take my seat and not say thank you when I moved?… I AM ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I AM ABOUT TO BREAK!” (For those of you who don’t know those are lyrics from one of the many angry Linkin Park songs.)
Oddly he was on my flight back to Long Beach after my trip was over. He kept on giving me the, “Was that dude on my other plane,” face. I responded with a, "Yes... I am stalking you," face.
The Stadium
Chris Berman calls it "The Toaster."
My friend calls it The "Silver Vagina" because the Mexican restaurant chain Pink Taco wanted to get naming rights. So, instead of the stadium being called, University of Phoenix Stadium it would be called, Pink Taco Stadium.
The designers said the shape of a barrel cactus and a coiled snake inspired them. I think the coiled snake kinda inspired them to design it in the shape of a curled up turd.
The designers also created the Beijing Olympic Stadium. The one that we all no as The Bird’s Nest. I am a little confused as to why they would not give us, “The Arizona Cardinals” the stadium that looks like a bird’s nest. They should have given China the one that looks like a big silver crap.
All that being said the stadium that looks like poop gets as loud as shit and creates an amazing home field advantage. I love that big shining piece of fecal matter that holds 71,000 crazy fans.
Eagle Fans Can Spell, E.A.G.L.E.S!!!
I am not sure why the Eagle’s fight song is just spelling out their name loudly. I am not a fan of this chant. The Jets also like to do this sort of School House Rock Chant. I wonder if the Eagle fans do this just to show that they can spell longer words than Jet fans.
A Jets vs Eagles game would be like a Kindergarten class with the teacher holding up pictures and asking them to spell what they saw. “OK class, what’s this?... Yes, it is a Jet. Now can we all spell the word "Jet" together?”
I think it really irritated me because the Eagles fan behind me started chanting it louder and louder as the game slowly slipped away from my Cardinals. I would have tried to spell, Cardinals really loudly but I was too nervous and was afraid I would have misspelled it. I am not a good trash talker. And when I tried it in my head there is always an odd pause in between the A and the L. Although, that could have been because I had too many B.E.E.R.S!
Man Cry
As the clock ran out and I turned to my dad we were both already tearing up. We hugged and jumped up and down. We acted like a couple of 12 year old girls in 1999 at a Backstreet Boys Concert.
I couldn't help it. Instantly all the memories of my dad and I going to every football game came rushing back to me. I remembered not being tall enough so I had to stand on the seats. I could clearly recall the game against the Packers when my dad taught me that 10 yards equals a first down. (A new guy named Favre was starting at QB for Green Bay.) I looked to the left and saw a father and son hugging and then I turned to my dad and lost it. Maybe I care about football too much, but anything that brings a father and son this close is special thing.
What sports is all about
Before this Eagles game we were already playing with house money. To have hosted the Championship Game went completely past all my dreams. If we get blown out in the Super Bowl I will be completely fine with it. I just don’t hope the players feel the same way.
This Might Be Our Only Chance
In 2010 there is a chance that there will be no salary cap and the rich teams will have a clear advantage over the poorer teams, similar to what we have in baseball. That means this may be the chance for my economically handicapped Cardinals. Unlike other teams whose owners have outside sources of income like the Cowboys’ Jerry Jones with his oil, and the Patriots’ Robert Kraft with his Kraft Singles, the Cardinals’ Bidwell family make all their money from the team.
mmmm!!! Taste like Super Bowls
I take back all that crap I said about me not caring what happens next. I was being a butt-hole. We need to win now. This may be our only shot.
Adding Salt to the Wound
As we entered the parking lot I saw a car full of Eagle fans that got pulled over immediately by a cop. Can you spell, E.A.G.L.E.S.D.U.I.
If I Have 2 Boys
I am naming one, Fitz and the other, Gerald,
If I Have a Girl
I am naming her Anquan, because Boldin acted like a little jealous whiny bitch on the most important drive in Arizona football history.
P.S.
If anyone wants to send me to the Super Bowl I will allow it. Even if I have to sit in the middle on the airplane.
Don't lie, that gay crying picture was taken when the Eagles took the lead 25-24, and you thought you had officially blown it in typical Cardinals fashion. I'm rooting for you in the Super Bowl though. After we got FUCKED OVER repeatedly by the refs in the Super Bowl a couple 3 years ago. You should just be happy that Jerome Bettis isn't retiring after the game, or perhaps Bill Cowher's last game, or any other reason for the NFL to "coach" the refs into aiding a feel-good outcome to the game. NFC West represent!
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