I like to think of every NFL Season as a dramatic story, filled with plot twists, conflicts, resolutions and of course heroes and villains. Plot twists are supplied by devastating injuries (Tom Brady) or blockbuster trades, which have the power to turn the tides and make once dominate teams futile or vice versa.  Classic rivalries offer the conflict and we achieve a resolution when our hero lifts that shiny Lombardi Trophy over his head at the end of the playoffs.

So, I got everything figured out except for the villain this year.  Every great drama must have its antagonist, but this year I am having trouble pinning down a certain team to outright despise.

Here are the top prospects for my hatred.

1. New England Patriots – Going into the season these guys were the clear cut favorite until Chiefs’ Safety Bernard Pollard popped Tom Brady in the leg causing his knee to go flamingo, thus ending his season.  Although, the head on the monster has been decapitated these boys are still in the running and here is why.

                                    Spygate – I Still think they should have gotten punished more than just one first round pick.  It wasn’t even their pick. It was a pick the got in atrade.  

                                    I also have a real problem with the term “Spygate.”  Are we going to add the suffix “gate” to anything that is controversial now?  I know it stems from Nixon’s Watergate, but Watergate was the name of the hotel where the incident occurred.  “Gate” does not mean conspiracy at all.  If we were going to name conspiracies according to Nixon’s Watergate shouldn’t we just name it after the location where it happened?  In this case we would just call the whole filming incident “Meadow Lands.”

                      Randy “I will take a pass on this play so pass to someone else” Moss – This guy already has done so much, a shoe in to get a gold jacket and yet I still feel his abilities are wasted by his lackadaisical “I play when I want," attitude.  He has already shown signs of giving up on his young inexperienced quarterback.  

                                    His receiving record for most touchdowns in a season should have an asterisk by it and I for one do not honor it. His record is 23 receiving touchdowns in a 16 game season, but Jerry Rice had 22 receiving touchdowns in the 12 game strike year of 1987.  Without a doubt in my mind, I am certain Rice would have scored at least two more touchdowns.

                       Boston Fans – You guys were a lot more fun when you were lovable drunken losers.  And! Yes I know Teddy Bruschi is “WICKED FAWKIN WETARDED DUDE!”  Nothing like fans that get so drunk they black out during the games and have to check the Internet the next day to see if they won

                       Boston Success – Between the Patriots, Red Sox and Celtics the city has 6 championship titles since 2001.  I admit this one just pisses me off because I am a “hater.”

                       Objections -  The loss of Brady almost reverts them back to their season in 2001 where they were an underdog that didn't have a star and embodied the team mentality.  Underdogs can not be villains.

2. Dallas Cowboys - The Yankees of the NFL                                       

                        America’s Team – No team has more fans that have nothing to do with their city than the Cowboys.  It seems that places that do not have their own teams just root for the Cowboys.  Furthermore,cities that have a poor team still seem to have more Cowboy fans than fans ofthe local struggling team.  

                                    An example of this is Arizona.  Troy Aikman remembers road games in Arizona by stating, “We use to refer to them as another home game because we had ¾ of the fans.”  I have to admit I am biased as I am a Cardinals fan and this really pissed me off.   Having more friends in elementary school rooting for the Cowboys than the home team scarred me for life.

                        Jerry Jones – Oh! Where to start with Jerry.  I will just ramble a few thing… His facelift makes him look like E.T... He has fired every coach that Dallas has ever had...  Just like George Steinbrenner he goes out and gets whatever player he wants…. He cannot wait for the union negotiations to totally fall through so there will be no salary cap next year and he can go buy a championship…. He needs to stay off the sidelines or just man up and coach himself… and I heard from a friend that he is a racist… Ok so that last one I made up, but I hate him.... Over/Under before he becomes Al Davis and fires coaches then gives erie power-point presentations on why he did it: 5 years...

                         T.O. – I know I could write a lot here but I am going to be just like his quarterbacks and not give him the attention he deserves. 

                          Pacman - I know he has made mistake after mistake and he should be thrown out of the league but I really hope he comes back based on entertainment.  Whether he is making it rain or getting in fights with his own bodyguard he is always a fun story.  In my mind I imagine Tom Jackson from ESPN doing the Pacman video game sound behind him as he gets into mischief.                                                                 

                             Over Exposure – I know they get the best ratings and are usually competitive but do they need to be on national TV every week.  And! Enough with the over analyzing them throughout the week on every sort of medium.  I don’t care what Tony Romo ate for breakfast or what resort in Mexico he went to with Jessica Simpson.  He should have stuck with Carrie Underwood anyways, okay so I guess I do care.

                         Objections - This team has been hit by the injury bug more than any other team.  It is almost at the point where I just feel bad for them.  It is hard to hate someone while at the same time having sympathy for them.

3. New York Giants - The Defending Champs are always an option.

                          Eli – Thought he was better than the draft and decided where he wanted to play, spitting on San Diego, one of the finest cities in the world. 

                          New Jersey – That is where you play so stop calling yourself New York.

                          Objections - Just not enough stuff to hate about them, and I don't think they have the talent to win it again.

 
Well there you have it, my list of possible villains for this “drama,” that we call “The 2008 NFLSeason.”  I have probably pissed of my Dallas friends and most definitely made my Boston buddies “Wicked Pissed!” I am not sure which of these teams will be the ultimate evil.  It looks like the season is going to belike a Scooby Doo episode. We won’t find out who the bad guy is until he gets unmasked in the climax of our story.

One last thing, although I do hate all these teams part of me hopes all of them reaches the playoffs so I can continue to bitch and moan all the way to the Super Bowl.  Bitching and Moaning is what I do best.

Thanks to http://thehomefield.blogspot.com/2008/06/just-call-me-adam-or-mr-jones.html for the Pacman Cartoon