brad ass news
lots of typos, shit grammar, no research
lots of typos, shit grammar, no research
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Pic: Come in Bears
Just read the tagline.
Done...
Change It Up!
Recently, the subject of Change has gotten more of a leading role in my life.
It is hard to change. Even the small things take big amounts of effort to change. Changing the tiniest parts of your daily life can feel awkward and uncomfortable.
An example of this is changing which arm you have on top when you cross your arms. Give it a try. Cross your arms. If you have your right arm on top switch it to your left, and vice-versa. Feels foreign, doesn't it?
Now try these ones, and see how awkward they feel.
Instead of handshakes, give high-fives.
Instead of wearing your watch on your right wrist, wear it on your left.
Instead of sleeping on the right side of the bed, sleep on the left.
Instead of keeping your wallet in your right pocket, shove it up your butthole.
(Warning: Buttholes are like magnets, they will demagnetize your credit cards.)
Done...
She's Coming Back
She left you in February.
She made an appearance in April,
but that one day just made it harder to say goodbye.
You're trying to do long distance.
You're trying to replace her with other things,
but neither is working.
You stalk her online.
What's she up to?
Who are these new guys?
When will she come back?
Will she come back?
What makes it worse is that she is famous.
You can watch her on the television from time to time.
Each time you are delighted to see her,
but depressed that it's not the real thing.
She said that she would return in August,
but you're not sure if she will anymore.
It's been so long.
It's been too long.
You give up.
BUT THEN!
Seemingly out of no where.
She sneaks up on you.
She is back.
You shed a tear of joy, and then cry out her name...
... FOOTBALL!!!
done
Video: Another Inception Gag
Watch the whole thing. The end is great.
Pic: Wookie Squirrel Nazis
Mr. Chewbacca on a giant squirrel battling some Nazis. ho-hum
done
Uncle Fucker Hot Sauce
I am not fluent in Spanish, but I did take three years in high school, and was able to learn that "Tio" is Spanish for "Uncle."
I am not that great with urban slang, but I do know when someone looks at somebody else and says, "I would like to tap that," that means they would like to have sex with that person.
So, with those two prior statements being true. That means my favorite hot-sauce translates to "Sex with an Uncle" or lets just call it "Uncle Fucker Hot Sauce."
Yup, I am talking about Tapatio.
Woah! Is the dude on the bottle the Uncle? With that pervy mustache he looks like an uncle that just may let you fuck him.
There is no way after you read this you will not call Tapatio, "Uncle Fucker Hot Sauce," or simply, "Uncle Fucker"
"Hey buddy pass me the Uncle Fucker"
Of course I could not do a whole Uncle Fucker post without adding this video.
Done
Inceptional Stuff
This is not a review of Inception, it is merely a bunch of internet hodgepodge floating around, that in some way relates to the movie.
(That being said, I did love the movie. Christopher Nolan gives me movie boners.)
Tweets
@GabeTheWP Inception is like the BCS: Brings in tons of money, polarizes fans, and anybody who can explain it is a liar.
@Jesus_M_Christ LeBron James liked Inception because Dwyane Wade gave him that idea.
@bradassnews So, all those dreams I use to have about Leo DiCaprio weren't latent homosexual tendencies, but him just trying to steal my thoughts. WHEW!
@bradassnews Just saw Inception. I bet Mal's last name isn't Nutrition because she got some big ole titties.
(Hey, congrats to me for making two tweets on that list. YEAH BRAD!)
For the Kids
Explanation Please
Have a lot of lingering questions? Click Here to read an interview with the Indian dude from the movie. Indian dudes are smart. Especially this one. Before he became famous he won a real episode of Jeopardy. Not a Celeb Jeopardy Episode in which they ask the actors fifth grader questions.
Proof
Fight Scene
Christopher Nolan no likey all the computer graphics. If he can do something without the aid of computers he will do it, ie flipping the Semi in The Dark Knight.
He did the same in Inception, with probably one of the most spectacular fight scenes since The Matrix. CLICK HERE to read how they kept it "old school" for the hallway fight scene.
Sequels
Why come up with my own ideas when this guy did the work for me? CLICK HERE
The one sequel idea he didn't have was in regards to the people that try to catch the dream thieves. If there are Extractors (dream thieves) than there should be those that try and stop them - The Dream Police.
DONE
Stroke It (it being your brain)
This presentation will not blow your mind, it will stroke it.
Just a brain researcher describing her stroke and how her brain shut down piece by piece as it happened. Also details how the right and left side of the brain were at war with each other as she tried and figure out what the fuck was going on, and what to do about it.
!Another Shake Weight!
The Shake Weight has always been one of our favorite exercise items here at Brad Ass Headquarters.
The makers of The Shake Weight have decided to not just make them for Women anymore. They are now also making them for Gays... Guys I meant to say Guys.
If the Shake Weight for women looks like they are jerking off a cock, why did they not make the Shake Weight for Men a fingering vagina action? Anyone?
Done.
Headline of the Day 7-18-10
I immediately thought of The Fugitive.
DONE